I Choose to Bless~ Day 10

Romans 5:8
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Somethings to Ponder
*If someone asked you why you loved your husband, what would be your answer? Women would probably mention...his personality, his looks, his consistent character, or that he is a hard worker ect....
*What if over the years of your marriage your husbands stopped having theses Characteristics? Would you stop loving your husband? If it be true your basis for love is over.
* The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The Truth...... Love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love. The name for this love is calledagape.
*There are other types of Love also: Phileo (friendship) and Eros(sexual love). Both friendship and sex have an important place in marriage.
*Phileo and Eros are more responsive in nature and can fluctuate based upon feelings. Agape love, on the other hand, is selfless and unconditional.
* Is you Love for your husband based on feelings or circumstances rather than commitment? The foundation in the marriage must beAgape!

* You ask why all these broken families, all the nasty divorces???? Because their LOVE was not based upon Agape Love, but ratherupon phileo, and eros.
* Agape, is God's kind of Love, He doesn't Love us because we arelovable but because He is so loving.....Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son [to be] the propitiation for our sins. (1 John 4:10 KJV)
Love...."Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things,endureth all things." (1 Corinthians 13:7 KJV)
This Love( Agape) does not come from within....IT COMES FROM GOD!
You must not say....I LOVE you because, but rather I Love Youperiod!!!
DARE TODAYDo something out of the ordinary for your husband~ Something that proves (to you and him) that your love is based upon your choice and nothing else! Be creative....Demonstrate LOVE to him for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.
Questions?
Has your love in the past been based on your spouses attributes and behavior, or your commitment? How can you continue to show love when it's not returned in a way you hoped for?

I Choose to Bless...Day 9

Greet ye one another with a kiss of charity~ 1 Peter 5:14

*You can tell a lot about the state of a couple's relationship from the way they greet one another.

*Do you stop to consider...the difference it would make in your husband's day if everything about you expresses the fact that you were really, really glad to see him?

* When you communicate that you are glad to see your husband, his personal self-worth increases, he feels valued. A good greetingset's the stage for positive and healthy interaction. Like Love, it puts wind in the sails.

* Remember Love is a choice. So choose to change your greeting. Choose Love.

Today's Dare

Question?

When and where did you choose to do your special greeting? How will you change your greetings from this point on?

-Love Dare

I Choose to Bless~ Day 8

Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love [is] strong as death; jealousy [is] cruel as the grave: the coals thereof [are] coals of fire, [which hath a] most vehement flame. (Song of Songs 8:6 KJV)
Wrath [is] cruel, and anger [is] outrageous; but who [is] able to stand before envy? (Proverbs 27:4 KJV)
Jealousy is one of the strongest drives known to man. It comes from the root word zeal and means "to burn with intense fire."
Two Forms Of Jealousy~
Legitimate~ based upon love
Illegitimate~ based upon envy
Today's Dare
Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list on negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he recently enjoyed.

The Love Dare

I Choose to Bless - Day 7

There are 2 rooms in your heart

1. Appreciation Room

2. Depreciation Room

The Appreciation Room

*Where your thoughts go when you encounter positive and encouraging things about your spouse.
* You enjoy the visit to the Appreciation room.
*On the walls in the appreciation room are written words and phrases describing the good attributes of your mate. Example: honest, wonderful cook, intelligent,beautiful eyes, or hard worker. (they are things you have discovered about your husband that have embedded themselves in your memory.
* As you think on these things your appreciation for your spouse increases.

The Depreciation Room
* On the walls in this room is things that bother or irritate you about your spouse.
* These things were placed there out of frustration, hurt feelings, and disappointments of unmet expectations.
*This room is lined with the weaknesses and failures of your husband. (their bad habits)
*Here are written very hateful things about their mate.
* It is where ammunition is kept for the next fight. (bitterness is allowed to spread here)
* People fall out of love here.
* Divorces are plotted in this room.
*The more time you spend here, the more your heart devalues your spouse.

Love knows about the Depreciation Room and does not live in denial it exists. BUT Love chooses not to live there.
Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt.
Love focuses on the positive.

The only reason you should glance in the door to the Depreciation Room is to know how to pray for your spouse. The only reason you should go into the room is to write "COVERED IN LOVE"
And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
(1 Peter 4:8 KJV)
We must develop the habit of reining in your negative thoughts and focusing on the positive attributes of your mate.

Today's Dare
Get two sheets of paper~ On the first sheet, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with the negative things on the second sheet of paper. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your husband for having that characteristic.
Question
Which list was easier to make? what did this reveal about your thoughts? What attribute did you thank your spouse for having?


The Love Dare

I Choose to Bless....Day 6

He that is] slow to anger is better than the mighty;
and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
(Proverbs 16:32 KJV)
*Love is hard to offend and quick to forgive. How easily do you get irritated and offended?
*People who are irritated are locked, loaded, and ready to overreact.
* When under pressure Love doesn't turn sour.
* A loving wife is not overly sensetive or cranky but exercises emotional self-control.
*Ask yourself am I calm breeze or am I storm waiting to happen?
* Life is a marathon not a sprint.
* Love will lead you to forgive instead of holding a grudge.

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; [13] Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also [do] ye. [14] And above all these things [put on] charity, which is the bond of perfectness. (Colossians 3:12-14 KJV)

Today's Dare
Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

Questions
Where do you need to add margin to your life? When have you recently overreacted? What was your real motivation behind it?

What decisions have you made today?

I Choose to Bless Day 5

He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him. (Proverbs 27:14 KJV) 

* Nothing irritates others as quickly as being rude.
* Rudeness is unnecessarily saying or doing things that are unpleasant for another person to be around.
* To be rude is to act unbecoming, embarrassing, or irritating.
* If you Love your husband you will desire to love, and purposefully avoid things that frustrate him, or cause him discomfort.
* Bottom Line~ Genuine love minds its manners.

[It is] better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house. (Proverbs 25:24 KJV) 

Test yourself
1.) How does your husband feel about the way you speak and act around them?
2.) How does your behavior affect your husbands sense of worth and self esteem?
3.) Would your husband say you're a blessing, or that you're condescending and embarrassing?

Guideline Principles To Practice
1.) Guard the golden rule. Treat your husband the same way you want to be treated (see Luke 6:31)
2.) No double standards. Be considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers or co workers.
3.) Honor request. Consider what your husband already asked you to do or not to do. If in doubt, then ask.

Today's Dare

Ask your husband to tell you three things that cause him to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking him or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

Question At the end of the day

What things did your spouse point out about you that need your attention? How did you handle hearing it? What do you do to plan to do to improve these areas?

-The Love Dare-Day 5

I Choose to Bless...Day 3

We live in a world that is enamored with "self".

The danger of this kind of thinking becomes painfully apparent once inside a marriage relationship.

Example: When a wife constantly complains about the time and energy she spends meeting the needs of her husband, that's a sign of selfishness.

1) True Love looks for ways to say "yes".

2) Love is never satisfied except in the welfare of others.

3) Love leads to inner joy.

4) Love covers a multitude of sins (Proverbs10:12)

Today's Dare

Buy your spouse something that reflect your love to them

I Choose to Bless my Marriage......Day 2

Love is Kind

Kindness in 4 Categories 

1. Gentleness~ Speak truth in Love

2.. Helpfulness~ Meeting the needs of the moment

3. Willingness~ Listen first rather than demand your way

4. Initiative ~ You see the need and then make the move first.

Today's Dare

In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

I Choose to Bless...My Marriage Day 1

For the pass few years I have really struggled in my marriage.

There was a time I worked hard to build my marriage up and glorify God through it. But, the past few years I lost focus and let things go. A couple month ago my son wanted to watch our wedding so I dug out the tape and we watched it. Watching it made me realize how far we have come(18 years). 

I am choosing to get my head back in the game and work at my marriage. Satan wants nothing more then to destroy this marriage. I pray the Lord would put a hedge of protection around us so that we can build it back up.

Everyday I will share a goal for each day. This will be based out of

 "The Love Dare"

I encourage you to come along with me on the journey.

Matthew 19:6

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder

Your Words

Your words reflect your heart.

Today practice on demonstrating patience.

Say nothing negative to your spouse at all.

If  the temptation arises, choose not to say anything.

It's better to hold your tongue than to say something

you'll regret.

Some verses to ponder

A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife. Prov. 15:18

With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; Eph. 4:2

Prayer

Lord, Help me today to speak out of Love... To remember your Love for us, even when we weren't lovable. Keep watch over my tongue.

Help me be silent when I shouldn't speak and to Love when it isn't  deserved. Thank you for loving us and giving us HOPE when sometimes it feels hopeless.

Amen

Reflecting on Todays Love Dare~ Note For Mrs. House

From What I posted on My Love Dare Blog www.daretolovechallenge.blogspot.com

This dare is really important, we really are NOT taught this in the world.
God has a perfect design for marriage but when we ignore the manual in which we should go by.......marriages are in shambles!I fell into the trap of lies that society taught.......When you have fallen out of love, or when things got to tough....It is time to move on with a divorce! Huhhhh! Marriage is very dear to my heart, I guess because the Lord has done absolute miracles in my own marriage. I have a GREAT desire and calling from the Lord to share what the Lord can do in your marriage if you are only open to cling to the HOPE in his Word...The Bible!

Now I must confess I am a work in progress.....My marriage is not where it is suppose to be but I really have a great desire to get there, and I know I have come a long ways from where I began.Yesterday, in fact was a day we totally regressed to some of our old patterns......fighting that flesh, and guess what we gave into the flesh I am sorry to say! In order to stay on top of your marriage there has to be some key things in place.

I love today's dare and I pray we can all take heed and learn from what God will teach us in these up-coming weeks of the Love Dare.

Lord,I am so weak, in the flesh and struggle to walk in the Spirit. You have given us this SPECIAL tool in our walk with you, but there are times we just lay that tool down and forget it is there to use. Forgive me Lord for my sin in my marriage, the pain and hurt I caused. I pray Lord, that you would revive my marriage again and help us grow to be examples of what a godly marriage looks like. Help me to focus on my shortcoming and work to be the godly wife, and not to focus on my husbands shortcomings. I feel like we are so far from that Lord, but I do know there is always HOPE, when you YOU are involved, when we allow your Spirit to work and move in our lives. I thank you for all you have done in my marriage and I look forward Lord to see what blessings you have in my marriage.Amen...

PS...To MY dear Sister In The Lord.....CAREY

I thank you for your gentle reminder yesterday, when I shared my struggles. You are a gem! I appreciate your friendship, and cherish it! There is nothing like godly counsel...points to the TRUTH in a loving gentle way!! God Bless you sister. Please Forgive me for my attitude in that moment!

Day One "Love Dare"

The Love Dare has started come and join me

www.daretolovechallenge.blogspot.com


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