Funny Funnies ;)

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons,5 year old Little Johnny,

and 3 year old Little Ryan.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.

Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.

If Jesus were sitting here,

He would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'

Little Johnny turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

Wednesday Funnies ;)

Acting Up In Church

One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle.
Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.
Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"

Ever Wonder?

EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair,
But darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara
With their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline
'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what
They do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with
Artificial flavor, and dish washing
Liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all
Your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the
Slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored
Cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle
For lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black
Box that is used on airplanes? Why
Don't they make the whole plane out
Of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments
When they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is
Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call
The airport the terminal?

Confessions Of A_____________.

confessions of a __________.

Ha.... you, guess what that missing word is when I am finished with the blog post. And please due forgive me for typos because folks I left my brain at the supermarket! Ya, Umm... the day started off well, but all was lost at the grocery store. I know that those of you who know me are snickering right now! Why is it I always forget to bring my list of things I need?

I am slowly....I mean slowly walking down the first isle in the store, thinking Ok Brandie,you didn't bring your list, you did not eat before you came and, you have not had Doritos in a WEEK!!!! BAD COMBINATION!!

I tried ever, ever so hard to stop myself, I even prayed, Dear Lord you KNOW me, I am weak, I am craving Doritos and those chocolate donuts would go so good with that chocolate milk I just through in the cart! So I ran from the isle like 60 (hey you would have thought I was a professional runner). I said .............GET THEE behind me Satan!! I can not have the JUNK!
Well who do you think won that battle?? I am sitting here at my computer eating a nutritious banana...OOOPS TyPo I mean chocolate donut, trying to muster up the energy to shut off my alarm that is telling me to get off the computer. Now you know I confessed!!! So much for those hard earned, sacrificing 9 lbs that I lost!!! Sheeesh! Oh and the computer thing if you are wondering (I put a timer on so I can be reminded that umm sitting is not getting your housework done!) Ya call me childish, but it works for me.

All RIGHT, I will not tell anymore of my secrets because you may be judging me at this very moment...Ya you are, either you are thinking man she blew it, or your thinking........Brandie has done lost her mind!! LOL.naaa hope you had a laugh today ::::grins:::::

On a serious note. The Lord has been so good to me lately and is giving me peace about the fibro. I ask God daily to restore my peace, it can be difficult when your in pain. But the Lord is answering my prayers and I have a joy I didn't have before this all. Ya, I do feel misunderstood alot but I know my Lord knows just where I am, and He will give me the mercy and grace to get through it! I am learning to have some humor with this all. I am learning to live in the simple things, not to be so uptight about life. Praise God...man I was uptight !!!Well, the Lord is not finished with me there, I got a long ways to go!!!

Can you guess what that missing word was in the title LOL

Hugs, Have a blessed Day!!

Brandie

I needed some funnies

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"

A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone here know what we mean by sins of omission?" A small girl replied: "Aren't those the sins we should have committed, but didn't?"

One day a space shuttle crashed to the ground in the yard of a preschool. When he finally struggled out of the wreckage, the astronaut shouted, "I'm free! I'm free!!!" At this point, one of the little children standing there shouted back, "Big deal, I'm four!"

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."

Are You Stressed? An Apology!!!

To My Dear Blogging Friends And Family...

I need to apologize for this previous post "Are You Stressed?"

I did not realize the part in the post where it said " 4 Bottles Of Wine"
Oh goodness I just realized this, and blushed! Just FYI I do not drink nor do I believe anyone should! I will be more careful next time, please forgive me.

In Christ Love,
Brandie