Yesterday was raw and real. Emotions of that day came flooding back as though a raging wave had pulled me under. Guilt and shame overwhelmed my heart, and all of those icky moments flashed before me.
At first I tried to pray it away...begging God to let me forget about it and dwell in thanksgiving that He had brought us 6 years from that day. But then a conversation I had recently with a friend came to my mind,
"Have you mourned it, acknowledged it?". When I talked to her I truly believed I had. Years, upon years I had tried to erase that day in my mind. It was a LONG six years! I was not equipped for that day. I never in my mind, believed that what happened, would go as far as it did! If I had known...let me just say, I would have done things very, very differently!
BUT, GOD KNEW.
God knew all that would transpire those six years. God was there the entire time. ....each step, each victory, each milestone, each heartbreak,
all of it!
Little by little God reveals his purpose in it. There is nothing more that I want other then for God to use it for His glory. God is in the business of REDEMPTION & RESTORATION & HEALING.
I pray that we can move forward to a new chapter.