Today...Psalm 19

You have made a difference in my life! Post-#1

Carey House- So many things come to my mind but one thing that stands out is your Love for the Lord and compassion for others. You are a great Pastor's wife and a good friend.

Becky Harris- You have a huge heart and are so willing to go the extra mile to make a difference in peoples lives.

Becky Lanphear- My best friend that has been by my side for over 20 years.

Terri Roberts- The minute I met you there was a connection, as if we had been friends forever. You opened up and shared your heart. You are one of the reason I miss Texas the most!

Michelea Adams- You light up a room! I loved your transparency and miss your friendship. I know that your goal is always to make new people in  the church feel welcome! You have a huge gift. You and your sis were one of the first ladies I hugged at Agnes Baptist Church.

Shaun Ellis- My beautiful MIL. I pray I will be a woman like you who would do anything to help someone. Thank you for working hard as a single mom to raise a GREAT guy -my husband!

Amber Nyce- I will always remember our great chats while our kiddos played football. You taught me many things in those two years. One of my first friends in Tri Cities.

Katie Goff- I met you at our hubby's company dinner in Tri Cities. I really enjoyed our time sharing what the Lord was doing in each of our lives. I fell in love with your family and we developed a great friendship. I will always cherish it!

Kristi Edmunds-  We met in Texas and we will be forever friends!

Alana Hunt- You were  my neighbor and good friend. Thank you for those great morning chats over coffee and wonderful memories of our kids playing together. I miss your family.

The next 10 will follow next week...

Marriage~

Monday's Musings

Life is good

So much to be thankful for.

Thankful to REST in God's grace.

Thankful for a newer friendship

Thankful for our church 

Thankful  for music 

Thankful for a marriage of 20 YEARS

Thankful for my children

God IS GOOD ALL THE TIME

All the time God is good

A Commandment-To Love

Fear Fades When.....

YES, I am blessed!

November 2012~ Thankful List

I Choose to Bless~ Day 10

Romans 5:8
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Somethings to Ponder
*If someone asked you why you loved your husband, what would be your answer? Women would probably mention...his personality, his looks, his consistent character, or that he is a hard worker ect....
*What if over the years of your marriage your husbands stopped having theses Characteristics? Would you stop loving your husband? If it be true your basis for love is over.
* The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The Truth...... Love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love. The name for this love is calledagape.
*There are other types of Love also: Phileo (friendship) and Eros(sexual love). Both friendship and sex have an important place in marriage.
*Phileo and Eros are more responsive in nature and can fluctuate based upon feelings. Agape love, on the other hand, is selfless and unconditional.
* Is you Love for your husband based on feelings or circumstances rather than commitment? The foundation in the marriage must beAgape!

* You ask why all these broken families, all the nasty divorces???? Because their LOVE was not based upon Agape Love, but ratherupon phileo, and eros.
* Agape, is God's kind of Love, He doesn't Love us because we arelovable but because He is so loving.....Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son [to be] the propitiation for our sins. (1 John 4:10 KJV)
Love...."Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things,endureth all things." (1 Corinthians 13:7 KJV)
This Love( Agape) does not come from within....IT COMES FROM GOD!
You must not say....I LOVE you because, but rather I Love Youperiod!!!
DARE TODAYDo something out of the ordinary for your husband~ Something that proves (to you and him) that your love is based upon your choice and nothing else! Be creative....Demonstrate LOVE to him for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.
Questions?
Has your love in the past been based on your spouses attributes and behavior, or your commitment? How can you continue to show love when it's not returned in a way you hoped for?

Prayer: When Expectations Cripple Marriage from Unveiledwife.com

Graphics~ The path of life

I Choose to Bless...Day 9

Greet ye one another with a kiss of charity~ 1 Peter 5:14

*You can tell a lot about the state of a couple's relationship from the way they greet one another.

*Do you stop to consider...the difference it would make in your husband's day if everything about you expresses the fact that you were really, really glad to see him?

* When you communicate that you are glad to see your husband, his personal self-worth increases, he feels valued. A good greetingset's the stage for positive and healthy interaction. Like Love, it puts wind in the sails.

* Remember Love is a choice. So choose to change your greeting. Choose Love.

Today's Dare

Question?

When and where did you choose to do your special greeting? How will you change your greetings from this point on?

-Love Dare

I Choose to Bless~ Day 8

Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love [is] strong as death; jealousy [is] cruel as the grave: the coals thereof [are] coals of fire, [which hath a] most vehement flame. (Song of Songs 8:6 KJV)
Wrath [is] cruel, and anger [is] outrageous; but who [is] able to stand before envy? (Proverbs 27:4 KJV)
Jealousy is one of the strongest drives known to man. It comes from the root word zeal and means "to burn with intense fire."
Two Forms Of Jealousy~
Legitimate~ based upon love
Illegitimate~ based upon envy
Today's Dare
Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list on negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he recently enjoyed.

The Love Dare

I Choose to Bless - Day 7

There are 2 rooms in your heart

1. Appreciation Room

2. Depreciation Room

The Appreciation Room

*Where your thoughts go when you encounter positive and encouraging things about your spouse.
* You enjoy the visit to the Appreciation room.
*On the walls in the appreciation room are written words and phrases describing the good attributes of your mate. Example: honest, wonderful cook, intelligent,beautiful eyes, or hard worker. (they are things you have discovered about your husband that have embedded themselves in your memory.
* As you think on these things your appreciation for your spouse increases.

The Depreciation Room
* On the walls in this room is things that bother or irritate you about your spouse.
* These things were placed there out of frustration, hurt feelings, and disappointments of unmet expectations.
*This room is lined with the weaknesses and failures of your husband. (their bad habits)
*Here are written very hateful things about their mate.
* It is where ammunition is kept for the next fight. (bitterness is allowed to spread here)
* People fall out of love here.
* Divorces are plotted in this room.
*The more time you spend here, the more your heart devalues your spouse.

Love knows about the Depreciation Room and does not live in denial it exists. BUT Love chooses not to live there.
Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt.
Love focuses on the positive.

The only reason you should glance in the door to the Depreciation Room is to know how to pray for your spouse. The only reason you should go into the room is to write "COVERED IN LOVE"
And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
(1 Peter 4:8 KJV)
We must develop the habit of reining in your negative thoughts and focusing on the positive attributes of your mate.

Today's Dare
Get two sheets of paper~ On the first sheet, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with the negative things on the second sheet of paper. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your husband for having that characteristic.
Question
Which list was easier to make? what did this reveal about your thoughts? What attribute did you thank your spouse for having?


The Love Dare

I Choose to Bless....Day 6

He that is] slow to anger is better than the mighty;
and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
(Proverbs 16:32 KJV)
*Love is hard to offend and quick to forgive. How easily do you get irritated and offended?
*People who are irritated are locked, loaded, and ready to overreact.
* When under pressure Love doesn't turn sour.
* A loving wife is not overly sensetive or cranky but exercises emotional self-control.
*Ask yourself am I calm breeze or am I storm waiting to happen?
* Life is a marathon not a sprint.
* Love will lead you to forgive instead of holding a grudge.

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; [13] Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also [do] ye. [14] And above all these things [put on] charity, which is the bond of perfectness. (Colossians 3:12-14 KJV)

Today's Dare
Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

Questions
Where do you need to add margin to your life? When have you recently overreacted? What was your real motivation behind it?

What decisions have you made today?

I Choose to Bless Day 5

He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him. (Proverbs 27:14 KJV) 

* Nothing irritates others as quickly as being rude.
* Rudeness is unnecessarily saying or doing things that are unpleasant for another person to be around.
* To be rude is to act unbecoming, embarrassing, or irritating.
* If you Love your husband you will desire to love, and purposefully avoid things that frustrate him, or cause him discomfort.
* Bottom Line~ Genuine love minds its manners.

[It is] better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house. (Proverbs 25:24 KJV) 

Test yourself
1.) How does your husband feel about the way you speak and act around them?
2.) How does your behavior affect your husbands sense of worth and self esteem?
3.) Would your husband say you're a blessing, or that you're condescending and embarrassing?

Guideline Principles To Practice
1.) Guard the golden rule. Treat your husband the same way you want to be treated (see Luke 6:31)
2.) No double standards. Be considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers or co workers.
3.) Honor request. Consider what your husband already asked you to do or not to do. If in doubt, then ask.

Today's Dare

Ask your husband to tell you three things that cause him to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking him or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

Question At the end of the day

What things did your spouse point out about you that need your attention? How did you handle hearing it? What do you do to plan to do to improve these areas?

-The Love Dare-Day 5