A Commandment-To Love

I Choose to Bless~ Day 10

Romans 5:8
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Somethings to Ponder
*If someone asked you why you loved your husband, what would be your answer? Women would probably mention...his personality, his looks, his consistent character, or that he is a hard worker ect....
*What if over the years of your marriage your husbands stopped having theses Characteristics? Would you stop loving your husband? If it be true your basis for love is over.
* The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The Truth...... Love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love. The name for this love is calledagape.
*There are other types of Love also: Phileo (friendship) and Eros(sexual love). Both friendship and sex have an important place in marriage.
*Phileo and Eros are more responsive in nature and can fluctuate based upon feelings. Agape love, on the other hand, is selfless and unconditional.
* Is you Love for your husband based on feelings or circumstances rather than commitment? The foundation in the marriage must beAgape!

* You ask why all these broken families, all the nasty divorces???? Because their LOVE was not based upon Agape Love, but ratherupon phileo, and eros.
* Agape, is God's kind of Love, He doesn't Love us because we arelovable but because He is so loving.....Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son [to be] the propitiation for our sins. (1 John 4:10 KJV)
Love...."Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things,endureth all things." (1 Corinthians 13:7 KJV)
This Love( Agape) does not come from within....IT COMES FROM GOD!
You must not say....I LOVE you because, but rather I Love Youperiod!!!
DARE TODAYDo something out of the ordinary for your husband~ Something that proves (to you and him) that your love is based upon your choice and nothing else! Be creative....Demonstrate LOVE to him for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.
Questions?
Has your love in the past been based on your spouses attributes and behavior, or your commitment? How can you continue to show love when it's not returned in a way you hoped for?

I Choose to Bless...Day 9

Greet ye one another with a kiss of charity~ 1 Peter 5:14

*You can tell a lot about the state of a couple's relationship from the way they greet one another.

*Do you stop to consider...the difference it would make in your husband's day if everything about you expresses the fact that you were really, really glad to see him?

* When you communicate that you are glad to see your husband, his personal self-worth increases, he feels valued. A good greetingset's the stage for positive and healthy interaction. Like Love, it puts wind in the sails.

* Remember Love is a choice. So choose to change your greeting. Choose Love.

Today's Dare

Question?

When and where did you choose to do your special greeting? How will you change your greetings from this point on?

-Love Dare

I Choose to Bless~ Day 8

Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love [is] strong as death; jealousy [is] cruel as the grave: the coals thereof [are] coals of fire, [which hath a] most vehement flame. (Song of Songs 8:6 KJV)
Wrath [is] cruel, and anger [is] outrageous; but who [is] able to stand before envy? (Proverbs 27:4 KJV)
Jealousy is one of the strongest drives known to man. It comes from the root word zeal and means "to burn with intense fire."
Two Forms Of Jealousy~
Legitimate~ based upon love
Illegitimate~ based upon envy
Today's Dare
Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list on negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he recently enjoyed.

The Love Dare

I Choose to Bless - Day 7

There are 2 rooms in your heart

1. Appreciation Room

2. Depreciation Room

The Appreciation Room

*Where your thoughts go when you encounter positive and encouraging things about your spouse.
* You enjoy the visit to the Appreciation room.
*On the walls in the appreciation room are written words and phrases describing the good attributes of your mate. Example: honest, wonderful cook, intelligent,beautiful eyes, or hard worker. (they are things you have discovered about your husband that have embedded themselves in your memory.
* As you think on these things your appreciation for your spouse increases.

The Depreciation Room
* On the walls in this room is things that bother or irritate you about your spouse.
* These things were placed there out of frustration, hurt feelings, and disappointments of unmet expectations.
*This room is lined with the weaknesses and failures of your husband. (their bad habits)
*Here are written very hateful things about their mate.
* It is where ammunition is kept for the next fight. (bitterness is allowed to spread here)
* People fall out of love here.
* Divorces are plotted in this room.
*The more time you spend here, the more your heart devalues your spouse.

Love knows about the Depreciation Room and does not live in denial it exists. BUT Love chooses not to live there.
Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt.
Love focuses on the positive.

The only reason you should glance in the door to the Depreciation Room is to know how to pray for your spouse. The only reason you should go into the room is to write "COVERED IN LOVE"
And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
(1 Peter 4:8 KJV)
We must develop the habit of reining in your negative thoughts and focusing on the positive attributes of your mate.

Today's Dare
Get two sheets of paper~ On the first sheet, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with the negative things on the second sheet of paper. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your husband for having that characteristic.
Question
Which list was easier to make? what did this reveal about your thoughts? What attribute did you thank your spouse for having?


The Love Dare

I Choose to Bless Day 5

He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him. (Proverbs 27:14 KJV) 

* Nothing irritates others as quickly as being rude.
* Rudeness is unnecessarily saying or doing things that are unpleasant for another person to be around.
* To be rude is to act unbecoming, embarrassing, or irritating.
* If you Love your husband you will desire to love, and purposefully avoid things that frustrate him, or cause him discomfort.
* Bottom Line~ Genuine love minds its manners.

[It is] better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house. (Proverbs 25:24 KJV) 

Test yourself
1.) How does your husband feel about the way you speak and act around them?
2.) How does your behavior affect your husbands sense of worth and self esteem?
3.) Would your husband say you're a blessing, or that you're condescending and embarrassing?

Guideline Principles To Practice
1.) Guard the golden rule. Treat your husband the same way you want to be treated (see Luke 6:31)
2.) No double standards. Be considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers or co workers.
3.) Honor request. Consider what your husband already asked you to do or not to do. If in doubt, then ask.

Today's Dare

Ask your husband to tell you three things that cause him to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking him or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

Question At the end of the day

What things did your spouse point out about you that need your attention? How did you handle hearing it? What do you do to plan to do to improve these areas?

-The Love Dare-Day 5

Marriage Monday~The Glue That Holds Us Together

The Glue That Holds Us Together

Malachi 2:14-16

Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

1.) God takes our marriage vows very seriously. 

Ecclesiastes 5:4

When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed.

2.) We should make our serious commitments, or vows, to God in the presence of his people, in courts of the Lord's House.

Psalm 116:18-19

I will pay my vows unto the LORD now in the presence of all his people,In the courts of the LORD'S house, in the midst of thee, O Jerusalem. Praise ye the LORD.

3.) Of all the things we could ever do for God or sacrifice for God, none pleases Him more than loving Him and loving others.

Matthew 22:37-40

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.This is the first and great commandment.And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Mark 12:29-33

And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandmentsis, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord:And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.And the scribe said unto him, Well, Master, thou hast said the truth: for there is one God; and there is none other but he:And to love him with all the heart, and with all the understanding, and with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love his neighbour as himself, is more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.

4.) A wife is to love her husband and give of herself in the same way Jesus did for her.

1 John 3:16

Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.

5.) When a wife is actively seeking to love her husband, she is able to overlook many sins.

1 Peter 4:8

And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.

Happily Married- Debi Pryde

Pick a Proverb~ Proverbs 10